


Last Call

by Nicicia



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, M/M, One Shot, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-08
Updated: 2015-02-08
Packaged: 2018-03-11 00:29:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3308942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nicicia/pseuds/Nicicia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Killua's last chance to tell Gon everything he never said.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Last Call

The beeping stops, and there’s rustling at the other end of the line.

A sleepy voice answers. “Killua?”

Killua inhales shakily, and gathers up strength to keep his voice steady. “Hi, Gon. Sorry, did I wake you?”

”It’s fine. Don’t worry about that. Killua, are you okay?”

Killua almost lets out a chocked chuckle. _Yeah, I’m fine, just...y’know...bleeding to death in the middle of fuck-all nowhere._ The mini-beetle phone shakes in his hand. No wait. It’s his hand that’s shaking.

“Killua?”

The pure concern in Gon’s voice grips Killua’s struggling heart and squeezes it hard. He inhales a shuddering breath. In that moment, more than anything, he wants to be completely honest with Gon. He tries to form the words but they are stuck in his throat, suffocating him. He never imagined telling the pure truth could be this hard -- and this painful.

“I...” His throat feels like it’s closing up, and his next words come out chocked. “I -- I’m not...okay.” Hot tears form in his eyes, and held-back sobs shake his battered body. “I’m...” How can he even say it? Say he’ll never see Gon again. Is he really going to lie now? After a lifetime of half-truths, his last words -- his last moments of life -- are going to be filled with lies too?

Gon is breathing anxiously on the other end of the line, waiting for Killua to finish.

Killua tries his best to calm his quivering voice. He tightens his already knuckle-white grip on his phone. “I’m...probably... dying...right now.” So it’s to be another half-truth then. There is no ‘probably’. He’s definitely dying. But strangely, it’s as though a mountain lifts off his shoulders. His body feels lighter now that he has admitted it. A tiny spark of relief soars inside him.

Gon’s breathing stops. “What? Where are you? I’ll come -- I’ll get help! Killua where are you? Tell me where you are?”

Tears spills from the corners of Killua’s eyes. Gon’s growing panic is so evident Killua sees Gon’s expression clearly in his mind’s eye. Searing pain flares his chest like acid eating away at his flesh. He’s not sure whether it’s regret for calling Gon -- for causing him panic like this, or simply his body breaking down further. He forces himself to take a deep breath, and desperately holds the pain at bay. His voice is strained and uneven. “I’m too far away. There’s...no one else here. But Gon, I --”

“Killua! I’ll find you! I’ll find you -- where are you?”

Killua’s chest quivers. He takes another deep, shaky breath. “Gon just...listen...” He’s not sure what he wants to say. No, that’s another lie. He knows exactly what he wants to say, and there’s too much. Where does he even begin? If he doesn’t say it now when he has nothing left to lose... “Gon... Listen to me...please...please!” His hand is shaking violently, and he has to lift the hand pressing down on his wound and bring it up to hold his wrist. It barely makes a difference. Both his hands are trembling. “T -- there’s something -- something I need to t -- tell you...”

The words seized up in his throat again. “I...Gon, I... Make sure Alluka’s safe, okay?” So it’s like this. Even when it’s his last chance, his resolve fails. He is to be a failure up until the very end.

“Killua, I’m coming to you right now. Hold on! What town are you staying at? Killua!”

Regret stabs Killua’s gut and barrels through him ten times harder than the Nen spear had. He is sure it’s regret this time because the tearing pain seems to root not only in his body, but also his soul. _So I do have one after all...Fuck, I must be delirious already._ He shouldn’t have called Gon. He feels cruel for doing this now. He feels selfish. “I -- I’m sorry, Gon. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have...” His voice fades into a soft cry.

From the phone come the sounds of quick breathing and running footsteps. Gon is running in vain.

Urgency grips Killua. Gon will never reach him. This is their last interaction. It’s Killua’s last chance to talk to Gon -- to hear his voice. Perhaps it’s a raw human need for company even Killua isn’t exempt from, or the carnal fear of a dying animal, but in this moment Killua knows he absolutely doesn’t want to die alone. And he doesn’t care how shaky and weak his own voice sounds anymore. “T -- talk, Gon....P -- please...I _need_   y -- you to say so -- something.” _Just let me hear your voice..._

“Hold on, Killua! I’m coming. Just -- just hold on!”

A mix between a miserable laugh and sob escapes Killua’s raw throat. He is already holding on! He clings to Gon’s voice like a lifeline, but it’s too late. He’s already sinking. Coldness spreads through his body. The vicious throbbing is gone from his wound. All that remains is numbness. _Huh? This doesn’t feel so bad..._ _Like falling asleep_. He closes his eyes. His voice is a fading whisper. “Hey...Gon...I’m...” _Glad you were my best friend..._ “...I...thi...think...” _I loved you..._

Cold serenity...

...

...

...

“Killua!”

 Killua opens his eyes.

 Warm molten-brown eyes peer down at him.

Killua blinks. “Gon...? But...but I was...you were...” He sits up, and realizes he’s on a bed inside a familiar room. “Whale Island?” He looks down at his own stomach clad in a white top. There’s no mortal wound. He’s strikingly clean. “So that was...a dream?”

Gon sits next to Killua, his legs dangling off the bed. “Yeah, you had a nightmare. I’m sorry.”

Killua blinks. “Why are you apologizing? I just had a stupid dream.” He shuffles closer to Gon, and puts his legs off the side of the bed. He bumps knees with Gon and looks round.

Gon’s room is exactly how Killua remembers it from years ago. Warm daylight streams in from the windows, casting light upon the bed. Birds chirp outside. The atmosphere is just as peaceful as Killua remembers too.

He can’t remember planning on visiting Gon at Whale Island. And hadn’t Gon left his home last year? _When did I get here, exactly?_  Killua looks at Gon again. “How long did I sleep?”

Gon’s eyes turn downcast, and an immensely sad expression clouds his face. “You didn’t really sleep, Killua.” He swallows hard. A tear sparkles from the corner of his eye. “And this isn’t Whale Island. Look...”

The entire room dissolves like paper submerged in water. The world reshapes, and a sandy beach comes into focus. Large jagged rocks stick out from the rough sand. Waves roll peacefully into shore, but the rain heavy clouds above make the atmosphere unsettling.

A huge dark cliff in the distance catches Killua’s eyes.

Killua’s stomach turns, and he feels a strange pull above his navel. Something about that cliff feels horribly familiar, and is beckoning him to it. He takes a step forward. The world shifts again for moment, and then he’s standing right beside the cliff wall.

Sitting with their back propped up against the rocks, is a person. A teenage boy with soft white hair blowing serenely in the sea breeze. Overgrown bangs cover his eyes, and cast the rest of his face in shadow. A horribly large crimson wound stains his diaphragm. His hands are hanging limp, but one of them is still clutching a mini-beetle phone.

The phone is dead.

A deathly cold cloud envelope Killua. _This is...me..._ “Then I’m...?” He turns his head to look at Gon.

Gon looks like he’s on the verge of tears. His voice is gentle. “I was really hoping you wouldn’t come here so soon.”

“Here?” Killua swallows. “But then...If I’m...and you’re here too...” His heart clenches and sinks. How can he even feel those kinds of sensations anymore? “Then you’re also...?”

Gon smiles the saddest smile Killua has ever seen. “Yeah. You’ll probably remember it soon.”

Memories flash before Killua. It had happened one year ago – Killua hadn’t even known about the battle until he finally decided to answer Leorio’s persistent phone call. And then agony -- sinking despair -- hollowness. The most empty year of his life...the last year of his life.

Killua stares at the Gon before him now.

Gon looks so alive...So real...just like he had when Killua last saw him.

Tears pool in the corners of Killua’s eyes. “But -- but you were on the phone! I...I called you...didn’t I...?”

“That....” Gon reaches for Killua’s hand, and holds it gently. “That was a dream right before you...”

Killua’s heart stings and tears spills from his eyes. Gon’s hand is so warm around his own -- so alive. “Then...if we’re both...” He swallows. The last time he parted ways with Gon was with a casual ‘See you later, Gon.’ Finally, those words come true. _Even if it’s like this...we can be together now, right?_

Gon’s eyes brighten, and he smiles his wonderful, warm sunshine smile. He gives Killua’s hand a reassuring squeeze. _I’ve always been with you._


End file.
